frightstricken:

hi manager. please disregard my habit of getting extremely sick out of nowhere. i am known for this worldwide as yet another of my lovable and awesome employable traits. my special ability is to get sosick

rueryuuzaki:

this was over my town this morning, and i think it’s l here to finally kill me

fnafvr:

theypushedmeoutandmacedme:

Looks like the choice has been made

imeverywoman420:

If i smoke weed with u dont look at me when i hit the bong like dude dont fuckign look at me im self conchess

drowned-pup:

crazy-brazilian:

sweatermuppet:

don’t worry honey you stay in bed I’ll cook breakfast *sounds of heavy machinery running for 45 minutes & i return covered in coal dust, holding two plates of perfectly cooked eggs, bacon, & toast*

spongedyke-deactivated20221017:

at her house eating the aquarium gravel

cuntess-carmilla:

Not to be sappy but gay lust is so healing. Yes I said lust, not love. That too though.

pitayad:

the president just made it illegal for boys to just be friends

slutdge:

We listen to the same music but i do it in a far gayer and way more transgender way than you

dunkstein:

*opens my wallet and blood gushes out*

mariopowertennis:

smeasel:

mariopowertennis:

Look at this beautiful boy

this looks like a traffic cone strapped to a swan

Blocked

mikkeneko:

my wife: so I heard that you and the little man took a trip downtown today :)

me: yeah haha

my wife: you guys saw a marching band, huh?

me: uh

my wife: he said you got kind of intense about his career prospects